Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Amy wrote about eclectic homeschooling. Eclectic is
my middle name. But I can't hold a candle to my
sister, Eclectic is her first name. She has had her kids
in an amazing number of different combinations of
school situations. She began with her son in government
school. Then her family moved overseas to do church
planting. While there her son was in a one room school
with other missionary kids. Her older daughter was too
young to join the other kids so she had a tutor. Becky,
my sister, then began to homeschool her kids and usually
one or two of the other missionary kids on their team
would join with them. Oldest son left for boarding school
when he hit highschool, but Becky still homeschooled her
daughters plus the extra kids. They then moved back
to the states and oldest son went back to government
school while daughters were still homeschooled. Then came
the wildest year of all--oldest son was in government school,
older daughter was in private Christian school and younger
daughter was homeschooled. This year oldest son is going
to Christian college, and both daughters will be in the
private school. Are you dizzy yet? I've got to go catch my
breath.

I've had fun participating in Works for Me Wednesday.
It is hard though to find things that I may have figured
out that are somewhat unique. I do not feel that I am
an especially gifted or crafty person. But this morning,
when I was in despair for an idea, one suddenly popped
into my caffeine infused brain.

I do not like a lot of clutter on my walls or on my shelves.
I have some lovely pictures by a neighbor who is a
well-known wildlife artist. I also have several relatives
who are professional artists and I have some beautiful
pictures by them. My problem has always been what
to do with family photos. I wanted to show off different
pictures but didn't want to fill the walls more and more.
This was dilemma number one.

Dilemma number two was that our little home was too small
when princess daughter was born. We had three boys in
one bedroom and nowhere for the little one to go. So we
added a bedroom to our mobile home. When we did so we
blocked a window in the living room. For several years I
just kept the shade pulled down on the window because
you could see the two by fours and the insulation between
the two rooms. Then I had my brain-storm. I had a box
with shelves built that was about three inches deep that
fit exactly into the window space. This is now my picture
gallery. I put pictures on the shelves and when I am
tired of a picture, or find another that is really special,
I change them out. This space has become my cozy
nook for quiet times. I love it.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Blessing my children at bedtime has been a delightful
way for me to end the day. Quietly I walk into their
rooms; sometimes I hold their hand or lightly
touch them, sometimes I just poke my head around
the corner and whisper the words to them. I don't
have a pat blessing. There are times when I am
frustrated with one of them and don't want to do it,
and then I have gone into their room later when my
heart is softer and they are asleep. It may take them
going to sleep before my heart is forgiving. I don't feel
that it is a "magic" thing, and if I skip a night, or a week,
I am not afraid of bad things happening.

Yet, to leave them with a blessing as their last connection
with their parents at night has been a strengthening tie.
"May the Lord keep you. May you grow in His grace and
knowledge." Or, "May you become the woman of God that
He has planned for you to become." Or, "May He who began
a good work in you complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Today in Psalm 26:12A I found a new blessing. It reads:

My foot stands in an even place;


Wow! To stand in an even place is incredible. That even place
is the God of the universe. I have always loved the thought
of being stayed on the Lord. So, to read that verse is like hitting
a homerun in baseball. And that is what I want for my kids.
The world offers only a slippery slope through their philosophies,
morals, and popular thinking. But God offers an even place. He
offers a firm foundation. He offers permanence. I think I'll use
this blessing tonight. "May God plant your foot and keep it in an
even place."

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Blest With Sons asks a very thought provoking question.
Since the answer I am going to post is rather long I
decided to do it here instead of as a comment to her
post.

Actually, there is a greater issue here even than the
question about which issues/behaviors in our children
we can relax about. It is the idea you brought up
yourself in relating your conversations with your
mom. How can we allow our children to have the
experience of unfettered alone time?

All behaviors can be let go to some point. And none
can be let go to an extreme...but you already know
that. The true question is how can we give our
children the freedom to be alone to dream and pretend.
And along with that, how can we give them unsupervised
(by adults) time with other kids, so they have to
work out squabbles on their own?

I, too, had much freedom as a child. There were countless
hours alone or with my friends riding bikes, walking the
neighborhood, and playing games. But, as you know, the
world is not as safe as it was then. So, the crucial question
is how can that kind of time be offered to our kids in a safe
environment?

I don't have specifics for you. You know your neighborhood,
your kids and your feelings as no one else does. I do know
that for our family it has been wonderful to move to the
country. Our boys have been able to spend hours in tree
stands, on their four wheeler, walking through the woods to
the creek, and we have felt safe with that. Of course, they
didn't do this when they were four, but they could by the
time they were 13. Somewhere in there they made the
transition. But when they were four they were encouraged
to go outside, or to their room, to spend time alone in play or
just daydreaming.

You are being a good mom by keeping the little nippers under
close supervision. I would encourage you, though, to stand back
a little longer sometimes to see how far they can go in working
out problems. Talk to them ahead of time, when they are
going to be with friends, about how to behave (as if you didn't
already.) Talk to them afterwards about how things could
have been handled differently. But don't feel bad about
intervening if you need to.

And above all ask for the God of all wisdom to give you
wisdom in knowing when and when not to let out the reins.

I have more thoughts on this subject, but "enough is as good
as a feast" as Mary Poppins says.

Epic struggles

I have been thinking a lot about Epic Struggles lately.
Maybe Eternal Struggles is the better title for them.
Sometimes one wants to shake one's fist at these
struggles and yell, "This should not be!" Sometimes
one merely shrugs one's shoulders and says, "Oh, well!"
And sometimes one just giggles.

There is an eternal struggle between the spirit and the
flesh (Romans 7).
There is an eternal struggle between male and female
(Genesis 3).
There is an eternal struggle between the wheat and the
tares. (Translation-those on God's side and those
againt Him...good and evil...Genesis 3 and following)
There is an eternal struggle, not between the old and the
young because they get along fine, but between youth
and middle age.

Actually these are not eternal. They will be resolved
someday in the sweet by and by. But do not fool your-
self into thinking that all struggles will go by the wayside.

There are some struggles that are truly eternal...such as--

Chocolate or vanilla?
Cat or dog?
Cream or no cream?
Coffee or tea?
White meat or dark?
Fat pillow or skinny?
Window open or shut?
Air con set on high or low?
Stop a lot on car trips or never stop at all?

Ha! This is just the beginning of a never-ending
list of unresolvable differences. Let's see what
eternity does with those.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

For today's Works for Me Wednesday I give
you three for the price of one.

We love our milk. We love our milk cold. I keep
glass glasses with handles in the freezer, then when
it is time to pour the milk I pull them out. Nice and
cold!

Moving on to number two...I keep a zipper bag in the
freezer (I'm big on the freezer today) that I fill with
the bread crumbs left over from slicing french bread.
I add to that crunched up crumbs from the bottom
of chip bags. There are always wee pieces of bread
at the end of a loaf. I put them in a bowl to dry
overnight and then crunch them up and add to the
mix. When I need bread crumbs for a casserole-
wa-la!

Number three is a hint from my husband. I asked him
last night what good household tips I could pass along
and his reply was, "Tell them to go to bed at the same
time as their husbands." Go figure! Happy marriage!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Psalm 92:1

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
And to sing praises to Your name,
O Most High....

Fun and fellowship was in abundant evidence at
our place on Sunday. We had over 90 at our BBQ,
and they were all having a good time!

I was slightly numb Monday, but am quite (somewhat)
recovered today.

Here are a few photos of the good time we had.

One of the chief bar-be-quers:

There were piles of kids. Here are a few having a swimmingly good time.

We can't get together as a church family without playing volleyball.


Friday, May 19, 2006

The Joy of God

JOLLYBLOGGER has a wonderful quote from The Divine
Conspiracy by DallasWillard.

We should, to begin with, think that God leads
a very interesting life, and that he is full of joy.
Undoubtedly he is the most joyous being in the
universe. The abundance of his love and
generosity is inseparable from his infinite joy.
All of the good and beautiful things from which
we occasionally drink tiny droplets of soul-
exhilarating joy, God continuously experiences in
all their breadth and depth and richness.

You can read the rest of the quote here.

Consumed but not stressed (yet)

Every year we host a BBQ for our church. This Sunday
we will have about 100 people for dinner. It is a lot of
fun--we have the perfect setting for such an event.
We have a trampoline, a swingset with sand box, a large
homemade playhouse, a metal (watering trough) pool for
swimming, a huge yard for volleyball, basketball on the
carport and plenty of room for horseshoes, whiffleball
games and anything else that might show up. Don't you
wish you could come? You'd be welcome.

We sandwich our church summer activities with this BBQ in
May and then a Fun Day BBQ at another member's house in
August.

I love planning for company. Don't worry, I am normal and
I definitely can get stressed out, but mostly I just enjoy it.
I even like cleaning up afterwards. The biggest kick I get
is during the BBQ (or whatever people are over for) watching
people have fun at my house. I love to provide a place that
will facilitate relationships and enjoyment. And on top of all
that my kids love this so much they don't complain at all over
the hours of weed-eating, mowing, and general clean-up
involved. Our yard never looks so good. It will get at least
one other good clean-up this year because we are hosting a
weekend family reunion in July for my husband's family.

I suppose the gift of hospitality is on my list of God-given
gifts. But I don't have it to the degree that my friend
Donna Miller does. She told me once that she only dusts
when she has company. "Ha ha," thought I, "she only has
company 4 or 5 times a week."

I Peter 4:9

Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.

I have to admit though that I was consumed (stressed?)
enough that on Wednesday I put the pork chops in the
oven at 4:00 and when I went to check on them at
5:30 I discovered I had forgotten to turn on the oven.
Oh well, the biscuits and scrambled eggs were good and
the pork chops fed us on Thursday instead.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Diligence is quite a word.

To continue working at something whether or not
it is fun, whether or not you feel that you are
accomplishing anything, but just because you
know you should is a hard concept to teach to
your children.

Yesterday I was talking with some young people,
friends of my boys, and they were telling me that
they never study. "School" comes easy to them and
they don't need to. This is not a discussion on
government schools but on student attitudes. I have
been ruminating on this through the night. It was
on my mind at 3:00 am, 4:00 am and even 5:30 am,
which is when I dragged out of my cozy nest for the
day.

I wish I'd been quicker on my feet. Those boys are going
to come up against things in life, eventually, where, if
they don't know how to study, or can't study, they
will either walk away without any attempt to under-
stand, or will quickly make up their mind with no true
understanding of the matter at all. I wish I'd made
just some small comment to this effect.

It would be awkward to go back to those teens now--
but what I will do is hit my own boys up again with
2 Timothy 15.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God,
a worker who does not need to be ashamed,
rightly dividing the word of truth.

One cannot be diligent with the word if one does not
study. Fly-by-night does not cut it in the Christian
realm. Sure, if needed, I can fill in at the last minute
for any children's Sunday school class going, but it is
only because of the past years of study and struggle.

God is the giver of wisdom, but may He grant my
children the diligence to pursue that wisdom.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Works for me Wednesday

If you have prodigious amounts of laundry, as I do, you
might easily get discouraged over never seeing the
bottom of the clothes hamper. With a small farm,
sports, a husband who horseshoes and life in general we
have piles of stinky, dirty clothes. I have found some
ways to help me deal with those clothes that may be
helpful to others.

First, I had to develop the right attitude. I used to be so
discouraged over not seeing the bottom of the hamper. I
tried to do all the wash in one day and then would be so upset
when the first dirty piece hit the hamper. But when I began
to see the wash as an ongoing dance it became, almost, fun and
challenging to see how well I could do at it.

Second, I color code the hampers. If you have ever
gone from hamper to hamper gathering up whites only
to discover that you didn't really have enough for a full
load then this will work for you. I set aside one hamper
for whites and delicates (those are easily separated), one
for towels and jeans, and one for everything else. Now,
I can look in, see if there is enough for a load and go to it.
We are pretty limited on space and for a time I had the
hampers in the family room as part of the decoration. Now
they live in the coat closet. I will do whatever it takes to
keep this wash monster at bay.

Third, I have one great tip for those of you with sons that
have white baseball uniforms. The grass stains from
sliding used to be the bane of my life, but I have found
a solution. The Tide scrubber, a little battery run scrub
brush, does wonders. In about five minutes I can pretreat
the entire uniform with this and by adding in a presoak
time the washed the uniform sparkles...until the next
game (sigh).

Yesterday the towels out on the line were dry, I knew they
were dry, but I put off getting them in until, of course, it
started to pour. Oh well, life is interesting always!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Grandparents play such an important part in the
lives of children. They can assume many different
roles. They cheerlead at games; they provide a place
of refuge during the storms of life; they are a cuddle
spot; they are the setting for famiy gatherings. It
is interesting to note the different ways grandparents
relate to their grandchildren.

My father has, I think, a unique way of relating. He has
always been able to get to the level they are and just
plum be their friend. He has always related to my boys
especially as he would to anyone else he loved to be
with.

Kent was given a gift certificate to a local pizza place
for his 50th birthday. So, on Sunday night we took
the family, a famiy friend, and my parents out to eat.
It was providential, the certificate was for $55.00 and
the bill came to $55.68. We spent less that a dollar to
feed 9 people! Pretty good.

While there I was delighted to watch the family in their
relating to each other. They laughed so much that heads
were turning to watch. The conversation was jumping
back and forth, definitely more like a ping-pong ball
than a gentle stream. But what I really picked up on
was how much the guys, Kent, my three boys and my
dad enjoyed their time together. They are all just
good buddies. Age plays no factor in this equation. The
19 year old son got so tickled he almost fell backward
in his chair. There was just not enough time to tell
every story and listen to every joke.

What a good birthday, Mother's Day dinner it was.

But he who is of a merry heart has a continual
feast. Proverbs 15:15

Monday, May 15, 2006

Good blonde joke.

Yesterday my oldest son Joel shared this joke
with us. I can tell these jokes because I am
a blonde, well sometimes I am.

A blonde and a brunette were standing on opposite
sides of a river from each other.

The brunette yells to the blonde, "How do I get to
the other side?"

The blonde thinks for a while, then looks puzzled and
replies, "You are on the other side!"

Springtime is in full swing and so are our schedules.
This summer our family, 5/6 of it, is participating
in a mission trip to Mexico. We had a fundraiser
softball tournament Saturday to raise money for
the building projects we will be doing while we are
there. It was a long day and a lot of work. But what
a blessing. We want to take plenty of money for the
building project we will be working on and we made a
good chunk of it Saturday. We will be working on the
mission headquarters for Campus Crusades and on a
church that has a back wall but no sides or roof. We
will also be showing the "Jesus" film a few nights.

Anyway, between the tournament and putting together
a Mother's Day powerpoint presentation at church
for yesterday I was a wee bit tired. It was good
though, and we had so many people who gave time,
energy and money to make the tournament a success.
God has surrounded us with a wonderful group of
people, and we often thank Him for them.

Kent turned 50 on Saturday. Yesterday, when we
left church to get in the car, someone had put a
magnet on the back of it. It read, "Over the Hill
Driver." Ha Ha! We are going to pass that one along.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I had a fun conversation with my friend Ruth. She was
telling me about some of the odd people in her family.
She does have some oddities, I know her family and
well, some of them do push the limit. Her Uncle Punk,
in particular, refused to believe that man had ever been
in space. He lived next door to her and never had running
water. He only died about 5 or 6 years ago, so that was
quite unusual. Actually I have met Punk, he even used
to play fiddle with my grandpa, though I don't remember
that, I am only going by what my grandma tells me. If you
have ever seen the movie, "Where the Red Fern Grows"
you have seen his old car, he sold it to the people who
made that movie.

I told sweet Ruth that my family had some odder oddities
even than hers. I had a great-grandpa who was a stump
preacher, and he not only refused to believe that man
had ever been in space, he believed the world was flat.
The Bible talks about the four corners of the earth and that
was enough for him. (And my dad, his oldest grandson,
worked as an engineer for McDonnell Douglass and helped
design some of the parts that went into the spaceships.)
Great-Grandpa was convinced that the pictures from
space of the earth were fakes. And his wife, who lived
till I was 16 and was dearly beloved by me, smoked a
pipe and chewed tobacco till she died at 89. She looked
like an adorable dried-up apple doll.

Ruth allowed that I had her beat to smithereens. I didn't
even get around to telling her about the Fleetwood-Alsup
fued, one of the biggest fueds ever in the midwest.

As the old Quaker said to his wife, "All the world is queer
except for Thee and me and sometimes even Thee's a
little queer."

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Something Epic is hosting the Christian Carnival 121
for the week of May 10.

WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY

I love to have the front of my refrigerator clear
of all pictures and magnets. When I have something
that absolutely must be dealt with immediately I
always post it on the fridge; then, I know I will
take care of it soon so that I can see a clear space
again.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

My 95 year old grandmother lives down the
gravel from me. She still lives alone, gardens,
cooks bunches and quilts. She also play a mean
game of High Five (a card game), although she has
been bummed lately because she is on a BIG losing
streak. She hates to be my partner in this game
because I am easily distracted and it requires quite
a bit of strategy. She is very blessed to have
2 sons and a daughter who also live on the same
gravel as she does. Plus she has my family and
me, her adoring grand-daughter.

She started a quilt this winter that had a gazillion
tiny pieces in it. She cut and sewed so many pieces
that she was ready to spit before she was done. But
it turned into a gorgeous purple and aqua piece of art.

Life is a quilt sometimes. It is all bits and pieces and
often we get so lost in the minutia that we lose the
big picture. We forget that a master quilter has
our bits and pieces in hand and is making a master-
piece out of them. It is important for us to take
moments out of our daily rushedness to see the work
that our Great and Holy Father is doing in and
through us. How stupendous that He allows us to
become a part of His program. Let me delight myself
in Him so that He may give me the desires of my
heart. (Psalm 37:4) The more I know Him, and the
more I love Him, the more my desires line up with
His kingdom plan. How exciting to see His kingdom
grow and come into fruition.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Yesterday the church had fun with Kent. Since
he will be 50 this week they passed the word
for people to dress in black. I knew ahead of
time so the kids and I all were dressed accord-
ingly. Then, he was left dozens of cards on the
"blessing board". It was just perfect, because
Kent doesn't like a lot of hoopla, yet it is always a
refreshment for the pastor to know that he is
loved and appreciated.

Crystal at Biblical Womanhood has a great
contest going for Mother's Day. The prize
is a nice baby carrier. Go to Mother's Day
Contest! to check it out.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Was it a compliment or not?

I was at a picnic today at a neighbors house. I sat down
next to a dear lady and she looked at me and said, "I
didn't realize that your hair was so red." Note: My
face was now a bit red too! I replied, "TeeHee, well
actually it wasn't so red until about 8:30 this morning."

Then she said, "You look so cute in those jeans. You are
really dressed appropriately." (Note: even though we
were at a picnic it was drizzley and in the 60's, so I wore
a turtleneck, a sweatshirt, jeans, warm socks and
tennis shoes. She, poor thing, had on white, picnicy
crop pants, a three-quarter sleeve shirt and sandals...
I guess I was dressed appropriately and I was very
comfortable.)

One time a date told me I looked "adequate." We were
going to a very fancy shindig and I had spent a long time
getting ready. He meant I looked "suitable for the
occasion." Some compliments I could probably do
without!

Girl Talk has a fun exercize for you to try. It will make
you giggle!

One of the most fascinating parts of parenting is watching
young people grow into their own faith. As my sons have
questioned our beliefs it has caused them to become
solid. I don't mean here our belief in a Father God, or
in Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross, but some
of the "finer" points of doctrine. However, just because
they might be "finer" doesn't mean they are minor.

One of my 19 year old's friends, especially, comes from a
different theological leaning than we do. Matthew, the
friend, loves debate and questions Billy's stands on God's
providence, sovreignty, predestination and eternal security.
We have covered all this ground before as a family, yet it
is now becoming very pertinent and real to Billy. He is
asking the eternal question.

I have titled it this because this question is eternally asked
in these types of discussions. The eternal question is, "How
can there be both free will and predestination." We can only
tell him over and over that it is a mystery, and show verses
that say "whosoever" on one track and "chosen in Him from the
foundation of the world" on the other. We can show commen-
tary from many sources that again confirm it is a mystery.
But either you have to believe it or you have to decide you
will throw out any scripture that doesn't fit with either one
side or the other because you are only going to hold yourself
to one view or the other.

The love I have for the security of the believer is just that-
The wonderful security that it surrounds me with. I had to
be silly though with it and so I wrote a ditty for all those
who are otherminded. It can be sung to the tune of "Michael
Finnagin."

There was a man who was born againagain
He kept falling into sinagain
He'd repent and then beginagain
Poor old man who was born againagainagain

No offense is intended and I hope none is taken.
I also have a cute ditty I wrote for my kids when
they were little and taking their baths...I'll tell that
some other time.

I

Thursday, May 04, 2006

My husband works at home and I have
discovered that this is the grace that God has
given me. In the past my sister and I have
often commiserated with each other because
she is in the same position. Not only do I have
the children calling for my attention, and not
only is the house calling for my attention, and
not only do I have a long list of people to contact,
errands to run etc. daily, I also hear many times
throughout the day, "Laurie, I need your help."

I never questioned my position as helpmeet. I
know the big picture, however, the day to day
could be discouraging. It could make one almost
envious of nice engineer husbands who work from
nine to five and have a commute of 30 minutes
each way. But, from the beginning, we have done
everything together. I audited seminary classes,
I help wherever I can in the church, we discuss
sermon ideas, I have even held horses in the past
to calm them down for shoeing. And, of course,
with our little farm, whenever Kent needs help,
there I am. (Especially now that the boys are grown
or nearly so.)

Today, I was going to clean the porch and then go
to town to grocery shop. I had a lot of laundry to
take care of, and of course the schooling that needs
to be accomplishedwas also in the mix. But from early
on Kent needed me in the furnace shed to help put
up insulation. And added to that major problems with his
e-mail account which we spent hours working on today.

At least the school work got done. And thanks to the
crockpot we had a good dinner.

But the truly blessed thing is that I am realizing more
and more that having a work-from-home husband
is part of the grace that God has given me. He has
providenced that my life would fall into these lines
and it is for my own good. I wish that I could have
realized this more deeply as a younger woman rather
than wasting my time wishing for more Me-Time.

And we know that all things work together for
good to those who love God, to those who are
the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Now I am trying to see how God has tied it all
together, and I am trying to see what it is that He
is building into my life through the peculiar lifestyle
He has placed me in.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Thinking Mother has posted the 18th Carnival
of Homeschooling. There is a lot to delve into--have
fun!

Where do fireflies go when it storms? I wonder.
Why do ferns curl up the way they do? I wonder.
What is the difference between a peeper and
a bullfrog? I wonder. (I know one difference, you
can hear people talk when the peepers are peeping,
but when the bullfrogs get going you have to yell
to be heard...at least that is how it is at my house.
They are so loud they drive my in-laws from the
city bananas. They [my in-laws, not the frogs] refuse
to sleep with the windows open when they come to
visit. Don't even ask about how they felt toward my
guineas. Back to frogs for a minute. I don't know why,
but there are so many little frogs in my yard and
driveway this year that we can't avoid them. Everytime
we drive in or out, or if we walk outside in the dark, we
squish some. My aunt always told me that dead frogs
were just fairies that were pretending to be dead frogs
until you looked away and they could flit off. I keep
hoping one will disappear when I turn away, but it
hasn't happened yet.)

There are many things in this wonderful creation to
wonder at, to marvel at, to learn about, to ask about
and that is why this contest from Spunky is so exciting.
What better way to learn about creation than with
a good biology book and a microscope.

Spunky is giving away a Benz Microscope and
Apologia Biology Set this week. Click Here to get the
details.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I went to St. Louis this past weekend with the ladies
group from my church. We always stay at my very
gracious in-law's home. On Sunday morning, at the
breakfast table, I opened the community paper and
started reading at random. I came across one of the
funniest things I have ever seen.

Our hometown paper has a Letter to the Editor section
and they also have a Speak Out. Basically Speak Out is
an unsigned complaint center, complete with horrible
grammar. But it can be amusing!

But not as amusing as the Sound Off! in this community
paper. Consider the following:

On Sunday I was in the Home Depot parking lot
when a young man driving a white Ford Taurus at the
last second pulled into a space that I had been waiting
for. I am an elderly woman who grew up in a time when
respect for your elders was taught to children. I
wonder
what this country is coming to.
I had to park at the far end of the lot. So
instead of buying a new filter for my furnace I bought a nail gun and flattened all his tires. I hope you read this sonny boy so you know it was me!


After chuckling over this one, everyone wanted to know
what I thought was so funny, so I read it to them. Then,
when I got to the next one I was laughing so hard I could
barely read it.

Never in my life have I seen politics reach the low
point that it has in S-------- County. You've got a
divided City Council that seems more interested in
their own egos than working on behalf of the city.
I'm sick and tired of all the backstabbing
and name-calling. My mother always told
me that if you don't have anything nice to
say don't say anything. Obviously that was a
lesson that these scum-sucking morons missed.


By the time I read the next one to the girls I was laughing
so hard tears were streaming down my cheeks.

I live near Highway K and Royallvalley Way and
last Friday after watching a movie at the Great Escape
Theatre I was driving home when I was abducted by
aliens. It was really weird. They were in a large
spaceship that looked like the Goldenrod Showboat.
They made me play the part of Curly in their
production of "Okalahoma!" They stole my credit
cards and then released me. I called the mayor
of Dardeen Prarie but she said I live in O-Fallon.
So I called the mayor of O'Fallon but she said I
live in Dardenne Prairie.

Maybe these seemed so funny because of the sleep
deprived state I was in at the time. But I was tickled,
and the girls became tickled with me, probably out
of sympathy for my temporary insanity.

Being a good pastor's wife I had to bring in some
spirituality to the conversation. I quoted Matthew 7:3.

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's
eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye."

I cut the article out to take home to Kent and the
kids, I knew they would appreciate such funny stories.
But, and here is where the face is turning red, maybe
even approaching purple, when I was reading it to
Kent I read the introduction to the articles and they
were all made up.

Now, I wonder, do I tell the girls, or do I let it go its
merry way?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Oh Glory! The lightning bugs are out. Usually they
don't arrive 'til the middle of May, but tonight when
I pulled into the driveway with princess daughter
she yelled (yes this princess yells sometimes), "Oh
look, fireflies." And she flew out of the car and into
the yard. I wonder if they will stay 'til the end of June,
as usual, or if, since they came early, they will depart
early???

But, oh, my poor peonies. Yesterday, while I was
in St. Louis, there was a big hail storm here and it just
tore my poor babies to pieces. They were big and
gorgeous this year.

While I was in St. Louis my mom-in-law told me that
the big, huge, gigantic St. Louis used book sale was being
held. I talked the ladies I was with into going, but they
only gave me 40 minutes to look. I didn't even make
it through all the children's tables in that amount of time.
But I did get 17 books for $5.00. It was the second to
last day of the sale and they were half off their already
rock-bottom prices. But the girls promised me that if
our annual shopping trip to St. Louis coincides with the
sale next year they will give me half a day there. That
will suit me fine because I am not a happy shopper in
malls...although I dearly love my friends and keep a smile
pasted to my face to keep them from realizing how icky
I feel. Actually the smile is pretty real. We have a good
time together.

Tomorrow, when I am more caught up on my sleep I will
tell about the huge faux pas I committed. I didn't even
know I had done it 'til hours after it happened. I may
not be able to get the nerve to tell it even here, but I
probably will because it is very, very funny.

"Do you think there will be fireflies and peonies in heaven,"
she asked plaintively. "Of course, you silly," said her wise,
theologian, pastor husband.