Straight from the Mayberry Times (Spoiler alert...it's been quite
some time since I laughed as hard as I did when I first read this.)

From Speak Out:

Yeah, I'd like to know where the county got these boulders they
put on the dad gum roads.  Them boulders are as big as golf balls
and they call them gravel.  That's boulders.  I don't know where
they got them at but man alive that's hard on your car driving on
them rascals.  So, I thank you but I'd like to be able to get smaller
gravel put on these roads instead of big old boulders and I'd like
to see them get the maintainer-man out doing what they're supposed
to do instead of bucking them along, they get washboard-y.  Thank
you and bye.

I am reminded of the time Kent and I visited G'ma Lil in her
apartment.  She told me the MainTainAnce boys were
supposed to come to her place.  I know now she meant the
maintenance guys, but it took me a good half hour after
I left for the light bulb to come on.  I just had no idea who
she was talking about at first.

As seen on Facebook:

Opal: How long does it take to get to America?
Bill: We are in America!  Let's name some other countries. 
             China, Rusia....
Elsie: Texas!
Opal: Chick-fil-a!

Recently I quoted from Augustine on humility, the
following rounds the thought out nicely.

"Preach the gospel, die, and be forgotten."
Missionary Count Nicolaus von Zinzendorf

I received a text from Natalie the other day.  This is what
she wrote:

"At supper, Joel was talking to Kathleen about using your
imagination.  Then after a pause he said, 'It's men's imaginations
that get them in trouble.  Take Solomon for example, he had a
really big imagination.'"

That's my boy!

I Kings 11
Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the
daughter of Pharoah:...Solomon clung to these in love.  He had
700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines.  And his
wives turned away his heart.  For when Solomon was old his wives
turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly
true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

It has been a season of busyness.  It has been a season of sickness.
These two combined have made it a season of bloglessness.

Kent had a bad case of the flu.  (Emily...aka Sparkle Pop has
had her second bad case of the flu, followed by a stomach bug,
and now followed by a secondary bacterial infection.  Poor baby,
she just cannot get well.)  But, Kent's case of the flu meant that
I got to play farmer a bit more than usual.  It was sorta fun to go
out mucking in the mud (and other stuff) while moving the cows
in and out of their hay pen.  It was sorta fun to be the main wood
loader.  But it wasn't fun having a sick husband. 

Papa Bob purchased a wood splitter.  It initially had some issues,
but now is fixed, and he gave Billy and Tyler a demonstration the
other day.  They were most suitably impressed.

We had a birthday party planned for Mike and Bill, but Kent's
flu made us put it off for a week.  It did come off though, complete
with shepherd's pie, cheeseburger in paradise soup, the last of the
frozen peaches from last summer, and German chocolate cake.
Mike and Bill are safely launched now to enjoy another year of
life.

There have been lots of comings and goings in Fernnook over
the past few weeks.  Bill and Stacey and the kids were down for
several days last week.  It was cousinopia. 

One of the days was gloriously warm and sunny...one of those
special 75-80 degree February in Missouri days.  We took advantage
of it by getting the mule and piling the 6 oldest grandkids in it and
going for an adventure ride.  The highlight of the ride is always
going over the log that crosses one of the paths.  The kids love,
just absolutely love, going over that log.  Their second favorite
part is eating marienda in the old barn.

You can see what a great time Wilbur had.  Wilbur's little brother
is coming in May.  Tyler and Jenn's Adeline Shirley is coming in
April.  And...a new little creation by Joel and Natalie is due in
September. 

Somehow, I don't think life will be getting slower and simpler for
us anytime soon.

I got to thinking that maybe the other Fernnookian Home Owners
might be hurt that I didn't give names to all the houses.

After all, I have eaten meals at every relative's house up and down
the gravel.

So, if you have a suggestion for a nickname for your house, toss
it in the pot.

We have already:
The Big House (Papa's house)
The Lodge (Mike & Deb's house)
and
The Farmhouse (that which belongs to me)

Possibilities might be:
The Cabin (future cabin of Derrill & Becky)
The Cat's Meow (Uncle Jim's, soon to be overwhelmed with kittens, house)
   or how about Kitty Corner
Deer Alley (Ken, Ann, & Kenny Jo's home)
Kid Central Zone (Joel & Natalie's)
The End House (Jenny's place...end of the relative houses on the road)
Mary & Rick's Hideaways (belongs to, Mary & Rick, of course)
The New Old Homeplace (Future possible home of Ty and Jenn)

If you have a better idea, I'd love to know it.

Of course, somehow, none of them quite match G'ma Opal's house and
all the memories that we all have of it.  Although, for the next generation,
these other homes may be for them what her home is to us.

It is hard not to enjoy a book that has chapter headings such as:
In which Mr. Pickwick thinks he had better go to Bath, and goes
accordingly.

It is nice to know finally where Mr. Grundy comes from.  You
know, as in, "He is a regular Mr. Grundy."  I knew what it
meant, generally, but never why it was said.  Now I know.

Mr. Pickwick had dropped in for a bit at the Magpie and Stump,
while there he joined in a group of the usual crowd, one of which
was Mr. Grundy. 

There was a pause in the conversation and the chairman of the group
said, "Mr. Grundy's going to oblige the company with a song."

"No he ain't," said Mr. Grundy.

"Why not?" said the chairman.

"Because he can't," said Mr. Grundy.

"You had better say he won't," replied the chairman.

"Well, then, he won't," retorted Mr. Grundy.  Mr. Grundy's positive
refusal to gratify the company occasioned another silence."

A spotted salamander was found by Tyler while digging a hole for
a fence post.  The little guy had been happily sleeping the cold
weather away.

Kathleen, Colyn, and Peeta enjoyed him immensely.  They so take
after their Daddy (and their Mommy).  Don't worry, he is again enjoying
his winter hibernation.

A few weeks ago Greg Henze asked me what I knew about Lone Star East.
He had recently heard about it and didn't realize that it even existed.  Greg
grew up in the Oak Grove area and attended the schoolhouse at Oak Grove.

I told him the little that I knew...which is that G'ma Opal, Dad, and uncles
and aunts and various other relatives had attended there.

It was on the corner of the Crowe property and the well or cistern is still
there.  I knew that Marjorie Edmonds (a distant relative) had taught
there for awhile.

Of course I have vague memories of stories from G'ma Opal of her running
around the school yard playing ball, and of dad getting switched because of
something he and a girl friend of his had done.  I remember also G'ma Opal
talking about the road she walked to get to school.  It was not K-2, but rather
was a lane that (I think) went from the Old Homeplace behind our property
and then up Joel's lane to the school.

But last night when I mentioned it to Papa, he reminded me of a few other
things about the school.

He attended there his first 6 weeks or so of 1st grade, before moving down
to Arkansas.  Later, there were a few random weeks a few years that he went
there.  And, then he actually finished up his last few weeks of 8th grade at
Lone Star East.  In between he was in several schools in Arkansas and several
in Texas.  He finished his schooling 9-12 grades in Texas.

When he graduated the 8th grade, there were two others who were in his
class.  Johnny Crowe was one of them and (Vercie ??) Hensley was the other.
Their teacher, Helen Boshears, took them down to the creek for a picnic outing
to celebrate.

Two others who taught over the years at Lone Star East were Mansell Rogers
and Helen Boshears.  Helen later wrote an article that was printed in the
Prospect News that told about her years teaching there.

The above picture is not Lone Star East.  Sadly I don't think I have ever seen an
actual picture of it.

"For those who would learn God's ways, humility is the first thing,
humility is the second, and humility is the third."      Augustine

Ah, but it's well-nigh impossible for this one. 

The whole storytelling the other night started because we had

a pig picking and some friends of Tyler's were here and wanted

to hear stories of what it was like in the Ozarks.

The story Papa told of Shadrack Cora and the wood stove made

Joel remember a story of our own inside wood stove.

We haven't had it for years.  I loved that stove, but it did make

the house dirty, and it took up a lot of room.  For a long time now,

we have had an outdoor wood stove instead.

I don't even remember this story from Joel.  But he is pretty good

about remembering things, so I believe it happened.  We started a fire

one time, and I am guessing it was the first fire of the season.  On

top of the stove there was a glass vase and some flowers.  The

stove got so hot that the flowers caught on fire, and Kent grabbed

a blanket and threw it over the fire to put it out.  

That is not the last fire we had in that room.

The night of Tyler and Jen's wedding rehearsal, Kent and I returned

home later than the rest of the folks staying here.  It was cold in the

house, so I started the two gas wall heaters.

After a few seconds, flames began to shoot out of the heater in the

new room.  I began trying to turn the gas off to the stove, but Billy

yelled for me to get the fire extinguisher.  I grabbed it for him and

he put the fire out.  

One of his little people (Elsie or Opal) had put a piece of plastic in

the grate of the heater and that was what caught on fire.   When the

soot all settled, it covered almost every surface in the house.  It was

a mess!

There were several other crazy things that made that wedding weekend

memorable.  We had unexpected company (who were visiting other

company that we had) and when they came in (we had never met them

before) they came in carrying dozens of toilet paper rolls as a gift

for us.  The man was a toilet paper salesman (I think).  It seemed so

very funny to me.

Then we had a flat tire on the way to the wedding and had to abandon

our car because fixing it would have made us late for the ceremony.

But everything came off and it was a beautiful wedding!  

Down Old Lady Henry's Road there lived the Cora family.  They
lived in an old two room shack with cracks in the floor and wall
nearly big enough to put your hand through.

Shadrack Cora, an old man who always had tobacco juice running
down both sides of his mouth, lived there with his wife and several
children.  One of the boys was Marion, another was Saverne, and
the rest I don't know.

One day, Uncle Bill went to visit Shadrack.  (Uncle Bill told this
story as true...so we'll just believe it is.)  One day, as I said, Uncle
Bill went to visit the Coras. 

Shadrack was sitting by the wood stove and Mrs. Cora was in the
kitchen working.  There was a pile of wood next to where Shadrack
was sitting and a cat was on top of the wood.  As Bill and he chatted,
Shadrack would reach over every so often and push the cat out of
the way, grab a stick of wood, take the lid off the stove, and toss the
wood in. 

One time though, he didn't push the cat out of the way.  Instead, he
picked up the cat, opened the stove and threw him in the fire.  The
cat made a horrible crying noise and Mrs. Cora came rushing in
from the kitchen to see what all the squalering was about.  I'm afraid
it was too late though for poor pussy.  I guess he just got tired of moving
that cat out of the way.

Of course the Cora and the Harris families were neighbors.  One day,
when Saverne Cora was over at the Harris place a chicken hawk was
after the Harris chickens.  Saverne in trying to shoot the hawk killed
one of the Harris girls and filled another with buckshot.  That was a sad
day in the little community of Fernnook.

Papa was in fine storytelling mode the other night.  I tried
to take a few notes so that I could write some of them down.
Hopefully I have most of the details correct.  Forgive me
if I mess up a bit, and feel free to correct me.

Used to be that the Harris family lived where the Kirks do now.
Edna Hopkins lived there when I was young, but long before
that the Harris family did.  This story came home to me because
Bud Harris died a few weeks ago, and I hadn't realized until
recently that his family were originally Fernnook Folk.

There were several kids in the family.  Bud was one of the boys,
and Stella Ruth and Beauty Mae were two of the girls.  Stella fell
in a bucket of lye as a young girl and it affected her eyes especially.

One day the two girls walked back to the homeplace to get some
vegetables from Great-Grandma Hattie (or Happy as some called
her.)  Cousin Jetty was staying with Great-Grandma at the time.

Stella Ruth and Beauty Mae went to the door and asked if they
could have some 'maters and 'taters.  Jetty told them that that
wasn't the proper way to say those two vegetable names.  They
were really tomatoes and potatoes.

A few days later, Mrs. Harris walked back to Great-Grandma's
house and knocked on the door.  When Granny Hattie answered,
Mrs. Harris said, "Miss Hattie, could I have some malettuce?"  She
must have reckoned that if 'taters and 'maters wasn't proper enough,
then surely lettuce wasn't either.

I was telling Hattie (the younger) this story today and she said,
"Are you sure she wasn't saying "more lettuce?"

I guess we'll never know.