Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Yesterday we were out and about in Mayberry. We hit
a Mayberry grocery store, a Mayberry hardware store,
the Mayberry High Baseball game and finally alighted
for a few moments at the one attraction of which
Mayberrry can actually boast (at least she can boast
of it in my dear Mom-in-law's mind.) She, my Mom-in
law, is a concrete and Big City sort of girl. The
big family joke is that after my in-laws get Alzheimer's
disease we'll pour a big slab of concrete in the field
behind us and move them here so we can care for them.
They shudder in disgust and despair every time I remind
them of our plans.

But, my MIL does like Snappy Tomato. That is our local
pizza joint. And yesterday evening, after the baseball
game, which we won by the way, we ended up at Snappy Tomato.

After we got home, Hattie came to me just quivering with
indignation. "Mom," she said, "you know that one boy that
was on my ball team this year." Then she described him
to me; I didn't know him from Adam. "Well, when we were
at Snappy Tomato he winked at me. I am so mad!"

Now I have to admit that if I happened to be in a public
place and saw a similar slip of humanity just quivering
with personality I might also wink at them. Yet I understand
the offense. We do not encourage our children in boy-
girl relationships at all. They know that these are mysteries
for adults to deal with. Friendship and fun are the stage
the Princess is in now.

So I gave her some solid motherly advice. "Next time a boy,
strange or not," (though of course, she and I both know that
he was a boy ergo he was strange...Paul Michael, look at that,
twice I've used that word in two weeks, you should be proud)
but back to the advice, "next time, honey, there is only one
thing to be done. Give him back a right wink, and then a
left, then shoot him with a double blink. That ought to take
care of him. He'll never have the guts to try such shenanigans
on you again!"

She is processing that piece of wisdom and I think will load
it into her "How to deal with difficult situations" gun soon.


Steve & Ruth said...

Great advice to discourage winking. If nothing else, the boy will be so confused he won't know how to react next time.

Laurie said...

My feelings perzactly!

LeftCoastOnlooker said...

I like the way you arm your girl!